Opening

Why... hello there. 

I'm not even sure where to begin. 

This purpose of starting this blog is to allow my thoughts flow unbidden. I have a lot of insight and beauty to give, and yet often it is withheld from view because it's not 'perfect' enough, or it has to be a certain way. I'm tired of being this way all the time. It means I don't create or flow as often as I should, and it's not doing the rest of the world any good, either, if nothing is seen at all. 

All day today was spent at a shamanic dreaming intensive. And it knocked the shit out of us. That's why we're all there -- to dig deeper. But it's inevitable that drilling deep into the depths of the soul dredges up a lot of shit. 

All of us there are pro's, you could say. We wouldn't be there if we didn't know the difficulty in store. Sometimes we don't even get the pristine glory of resolution at the end of the day. My sequence did turn out positively, in the end -- I felt soothed and resolved. Only to come home and lash it all out at my partner. Fuck. Whaaaat??? What's the good of that?

So, I'm sorry. I'm sorry all this emotional torment is sometimes just too fucking much for even me to handle and keep bottled inside. It doesn't do any good there, either -- and I know it! I absolutely know TOO well what sweltering pressurized shit becomes when not dealt with. 

Hence, why we're beginning this shamanic intensive. Why we 'do the work.' It's just that, for some of us, we can't help but see the unseen, or have the wishy-washy ambiguous realms of thought, emotion and spirit rattle us even more than the actual walls surrounding us. 

I'm not going to apologize for swearing. I'm not going to apologize for my intensity or references to astrology or the world of spirit. This is my worldview, this is what I have built from nothing, when previous paradigms have ceased to work. 

This is what this blog will be like. Enter at your own risk. What's all the recent talk about trigger warnings... ? 

Welcome to being human.